LOVE

This week our church is having a revival.  The Pastor is talking about LOVE.  This is a topic I think that we will never be done learning about.  If you're not on top of it we can loose sight of love so quickly it is almost scary.

Back in 2009 I was on the Leader Board at our church, the Youth Leader, and anything else I could get my hands on to feel important, to satisfy my need to be in control.

About a year or two before that our church was going through the transition of finding a new pastor.    At that time the church was at odds with one another.  We definitely lost sight of what love looks like and what the lack of love can do not only to one another but to the health and effectiveness of the church.

It was about this time I was feeling a calling into leadership.  Then I was asked to come aboard the Leadership Board.  I should have know the disaster of my lack of love because of my attitude going in.  Along with a few others, we were going to fix everything and bring back harmony and begin to teach everyone how a church is meant to be run.  Please note, this was MY attitude not the others.

Over the course of the next few years I did my share of calling out people whom I thought was not doing their part correctly or wasn't  displaying the role of "leadership"  from the Bible's perspective.  Over time and seeing the hurt I was causing, I got disgusted with myself.  I mean I could NOT stand my attitude.  Here Christ gave me the awesome opportunity to help lead our church to love like Christ and enthusiastically demonstrate how awesome it is to have a close personal relationship with Christ.  I failed miserably!

I then decided it was time to step down from everything and get back to having a relationship with Christ.  My friends and the Leadership board finally set me down to share how concerned they were.  It is one thing when you feel as though you are failing in God's eyes, it's another when others start seeing it also.  I lost control of "hiding" it.  It was time to get back to the basics - LOVE.

Oh how humbling it is when you finally let Christ take back control.   Obviously control is an issue with me.  I'm learning, probably slower than most.  It's a painful process but a necessary one.  I'm once again on my way from ashes to beauty.

Thank you Lord for never giving up on me!